THE OLD COWBOY & A NURSE & PEE TIME
Never piss off a cowboy...
(Hey! Time to lighten up a bit. This is short. Enjoy)
An old cowboy by the name of Bill Connor was once in a hospital being treated for some issues with his blood sugar and his heart. Bill was a pretty stoic man, not given much to chit chat. He’d spent a lot of his years alone with just his horse to talk to and sometimes the cows. He hated every minute there and especially hated one particular syrupy Nurse.
This Nurse reminded him of an aunt he had growing up who, when he was a kid, would hug him and kiss him on his forehead and gaggle over him like a mother hen over her brood. He avoided Aunt Martha as much as possible, even hiding under the bed when she’d come over to the house to visit his mother. When he left home at the age of 15 Bill made it a point never to see her again.
This particular Nurse came into his room multiple times a day. Each time, in a sugary voice that suggested she was a mother taking care of a 5 year old, she’d enter the room and say, “And, how are we feeling today, sweetie?” Then, without waiting for an answer, she’d add, “We need to take our medicine today, hon.” After he took the pills, she’d hand him a small plastic container and as she did, she’d lean over and in a whispered tone say, “Now dearie, as soon as you can, we need a sample.” She’d straighten, then, still in a whispered voice, but louder, she’d give him a look that suggested they shared some kind of secret, and say, “You know what to do.” Then, she’d exit.
The third day, the nurse had performed her little routine as usual and after she left, he finished breakfast. Bill reached across his tray, picked up the plastic container she’d left for him to use, removed the cap, and then poured the Apple juice into the plastic container. He kept the lid off the container.
Later that day, the nurse came in to retrieve the urine sample. He held it up for her to see but far enough that she couldn’t easily take it from him. The nurse stared at it for a long moment, then in a worried voice, said, “Oh my goodness, hon’, this doesn’t look good at all. It’s very cloudy and that doesn’t look good. No, not a bit.”
Bill, with the look of pure innocence on his face and in his best golly-gee-whiz voice, said loudly, “Well darlin’, lemme see if I can run it through again and clear it up.”
He toasted the nurse and quickly drank the contents down, smacked his lips and grinned.
(Original story stolen by Voyle Glover, reshaped and rewritten to his liking. No apologies.)